I'm a guy living in Colorado. I used to live in NYC. You can reach me at itssharingtime (at) gmail.com.
When you haven’t been working out as much as you should (or at all), you may be tempted to scream, “That’s what you get for working out!” to all the people going through painful rehabilitation in the physical therapy clinic you walk by.
Don’t.
Just because the men in there may have a torn ACL doesn’t mean their other leg can’t squarely land a kick to your nuts.
Nick Hornby wrote the blurb on the front of this book. I also read nothing but good things about it, which lead me to give it a shot. But about halfway through reading it, I noticed with fresh eyes the bright color scheme on the back and the cover of the book, and I got the sneaking suspicion that maybe I was not the intended audience for this novel - that is, a woman. A woman who would enjoy a book that will be eventually watered down and turned into a Hollywood romantic comedy.
You know what though? I liked it. It’s one of those books that you enjoyably glide from chapter to chapter, pause at how witty the banter between characters is and how cleverly the book is structured.
In any case, it was a nice read to close out the summer. Nothing too heavy, but with a definite emotional weight. Recommended.
Lee Fucknuts
(it’s my mother’s maiden name)
I’m staying in a hotel in Chinatown. On my way to work this morning, a Chinese dude walks up to me and goes, “I own you, white boy. China owns you! When you borrow money to buy something, you’re getting that money from the Chinese government! YOU ARE OWNED BY ME!”
Well, that pissed me off. I opened my wallet and took out a dollar. Then I threw the dollar in his face.
“You want some more American dollars? There you go, dick,” I screamed.
“Yeah, I do!” he said, as he put the worthless dollar in his pocket. He then used that dollar to hire fifteen workers for a week, and they made me an outfit of designer clothes.
“Wow, that was really nice of you,” I said.
“No problem,” he said. “Globalization is weird, right?”
“Yeah, it is,” I replied.
Cashier 1: He keeps calling me.
Cashier 2: Who? Paul?
Cashier 1: Yeah.
Cashier 2: He trying to get with you?
Cashier 1 nods.
Cashier 2: Uh huh.
Cashier 1: I ain't gonna give it up. *pause* I ain't giving it up.
Two weeks ago, I saw a musician named Vienna Teng perform and speak at an event called TEDxBoulder. She told a story about how in Taiwan, when you’re in middle school, you take a test. This test determines the trajectory of your life.
If you score high… you go into mathematics, engineering or the sciences.
If you score average… you go into the social sciences or business.
If you score poorly… you become an artist.
Artists are dummies! Get it?
She graduated from Stanford with a computer science degree. And then told her parents she was becoming a musician. They were not pleased. She traveled around the world with her music and is now going back to school for sustainability, I think.
Anyhow, back to writing this joke about MMA fighting techniques. It’s gonna be grrrrrreat.
This pains me to say it since I’ve really enjoyed some of Simon’s other work… but this is not worth your time. If you like the idea of billionaire kids with unlimited power in school, read the amazingly satisfying and more imaginative Josh Lieb book.
