Sharing Time!

I like DC Pierson. I liked his first book The Boy Who Couldn’t Sleep and Never Had To. I dig magical realism. I dig funny stuff. That book was both of those things.

This book was a straight up fantasy novel where the protagonist is in high school. And I do not do fantasy. At all. So it was no surprise that when there were long passages describing other realms and aliens with funny names that my eyes glazed over. That’s not the author’s fault. That’s strictly operator error. I’m sure fantasy nerds were way into it.

It’s a shame, there were some parts that were super funny that took place in the real world. But so much of it was in another land that it didn’t quite grab me. I hope he gets to write a third book, and I hope it’s filled with magical realism.

I’ll be all over it.

They should’ve done my idea instead of that Stefon video

It was about 4 in the morning at an underground bar somewhere in the West Village. This was about a month ago at SNL’s after after-party.

It wasn’t too crowded in there. This was much more laid back than the after party. And I felt relaxed. I was ready. I wasn’t even drunk, just tired.

I was finally going to share my sketch idea. I’d had the idea since my friend told me that Ben Affleck was going to host the season finale.

Tim, one of the new cast members, and my friend were talking, so it was the perfect moment. I approached them with no hesitation.

“Ok guys, I’ve got a pitch for you.”

They were already laughing. I must’ve looked delirious. This was gonna be good.

“Ok, so when Ben Affleck’s hosting… how about you make him the head of his own insurance company, and their mascot is the Affleck Duck? He’d be the voice of the Affleck Duck.”

They kept laughing, but the kind where you’re half laughing with someone and half laughing at them. I considered it a win.

I watched the season finale this weekend and there was no sketch about the Affleck Duck.

It probably got cut at dress rehearsal.

kellyreeves:

sharingtime:

I’m still a little giddy from the night, so excuse the high word count.

I show up at 9:15. I figure if I organize this thing, I should probably be there when it starts. No one is here yet (obviously, this is New York and all). I sit at the bar, fiddle with my blackberry and…

OH WOW. Thanks for pulling this back up, Lauren. (*waves* Hi guys!!! *waves*). Fun MeMoRieZ from the very first nyc tumblr meetup.

Ha, here I was going to write up a weepy ode to how we used tumblr in 2008, and Lauren went and dug up a recap I wrote of the very first meetup in a bar I picked because it was close to my apartment.

I have the worst memory in the world and I still remember that night. How lucky I was that a bunch of good people showed up, otherwise I might’ve never used the internet or left my house again. I still get warm, fuzzy feelings about that magical eve. Significantly less than 1.1 billion good feelings, but that’s neither here nor there. Those were fun times.

This cost me 81 cents. WORTH ITTTTT.

This book was great fun. Weiner’s funny and introspective during his travels all over the world, and shares some theories on why some countries and its residents are happier than others.

One thing I learned: never go to Moldova. I have not read about a more depressing place in my life. It sounds almost as bad as living in a hyper violent country like Afghanistan.

Anyways, this is a good read if you’re looking for something pop-sciencey and non-fictiony.

Someone has been practicing the bagpipes for the last hour in my neighborhood. I feel like my living room has been turned into a funeral for an Irish cop. RIP Lieutenant Sullivan.

Inspection

He’d spent 10 minutes inspecting the kale.

His wife dutifully stood next to him, bored out of her skull, but she knew the drill. He couldn’t leaf until he’d picked the perfect bunch. Sorry, I meant to write LEAVE.

He’d have gotten a kick out of that Freudian slip if he weren’t dead.

As he was walking back to his car from the supermarket, a truck clipped his cart, sending $147.73 worth of groceries flying into the middle of the street. His wife could only watch.

He decided to take action, so he ran after the truck screaming.

“Hey dipshit, come back and pay for my groceries!” he shouted.

He didn’t see a car coming the other way.

The car was only going 20mph, but it was enough to knock him into the other lane of traffic.

Another car hit him, ping ponging him back into more oncoming traffic at 20mph.

Now he was in trouble.

He fell down. The next car ran over his vital organs.

His wife just stood there, shocked. What could she do?

As he lay there mostly dead in the parking lot, his groceries strewn around his body, he regained consciousness for a second. He thought that he lived a full life. A good life.

He knew that all he could do was pick the best kale from the bunch and hope for the best. The best didn’t happen.

He died there in the crosswalk while his wife cradled his body.

“You’re gonna be alright, honey,” she said. “It’s gonna be ok.”

The kale lay there in the street, perfectly ripe.

Fine, I guess you won’t ever know what my favorite Bible passages are

This one time I signed up for ChristianMingle.com and I put in my dating profile, “Single and ready to MINGLE!!!” which I thought was really clever, but the women on that site thought that Jews really shouldn’t be allowed to start a dating profile on there.

The downside to reading books based solely on people’s recommendations (and not learning about he plot beforehand) is that sometimes you read stuff you’d normally have no interest in. Case in point: this book.

This is a book about two sisters in the ’80s, AIDS, and weird familial relationships. If you’re keeping score, I am interested in 0 of those 3 subjects. And yet the story is written beautifully, and in a way where you have to keep reading. I liked it in spite of myself.

Recommended.

Has anyone ever been to Albuquerque, New Mexico?

I’m headed to the disturbing looking Albuquerque, New Mexico on a press trip for the next few days. Has anyone ever been there? Thoughts?

I am doing every Breaking Bad related thing I can do in town. Don’t you worry. Nevertheless, I’ll have an hour or two to myself on Saturday. What should I do?