December 2007
End of Days
Last night I threw an “End of Days” party. It was a good idea in theory: everyone at the party was instructed to act as if this was their last night on earth. We bought a ton of alcohol and the greasiest, most calorie-laden food money could buy. People were gorging left and right. I think all of the seven deadly sins showed up. But the fun ones like gluttony and lust! The not so fun...
“Listen to me, McNulty. You took a lot of risks. You played a lot of wild cards....”
– (via justin) Fuck yes! Season 5 premiere goes on demand on 12/31. Not that I checked or anything.
Two faced
I just met my roommate’s parents for the first time. His parents live about 30 minutes away and have visited our apartment numerous times. I’ve lived here for over 2 years! I’m not sure how this never happened before. They were very nice people. It’s funny how my roommate is a composite of both his parents personalities. I think I’m exactly the same way.
Ethiopians - Mountain Goats
Window mounted air conditioning unit, Humming like a hive. We want to send postcards to the friends we used to have, Rub their noses in the ugly fact that we are still alive, And we play, Lovers reggae, On accordian and banjo, When the moon is high. And we lie on the floor, Get suspicious of the people Who’ve just moved in next door. The bad taste in our mouths, The...
You could say that the assassination of a head of state is news, but this is huge news too. Sometimes The Superficial is just what the doctor ordered when there’s no one left in the office, but your boss won’t leave and you sit glued to your chair waiting for him to go so that you can go too. But I digress: Jessica Alba and Cash Warren hopped on the engagement bandwagon this week....
Kingsley Amis once differentiated between the physical hangover (the hangover of youth) and the metaphysical hangover (the hangover of middle age and beyond). The second is far worse, Mr. Amis wrote, an “ineffable compound of depression, sadness (these two are not the same), anxiety, self-hatred, sense of failure and fear for the future.” Happy new year! (via NYT)
“Les moments de crise produisent un redoublement de vie chez les hommes.”
– Chateaubriand, from Memoires d’outre-tombe Moments of crisis prodouce a redoubled vitality in men. Or: men don’t begin to live fully until their backs are against the wall.
The line at Trader Joe’s today took me less than 5 minutes. Here are the possible reasons behind this: A) New Yorkers have sickened of their cheap prices and delicious food B) Everyone left the city for the holidays C) Jews get everything they want in life and beyond, this is but an example D) There doesn’t always have to be a 4th reason for everything And this concludes Lee wastes...
It got personal real fast
me: cry me a river lee
allison: and drown in it
allison: ;)
allison: hahaha jk obviiiiii
me: I'm sure
allison: my stepsister said that to her stepmom one day
allison: i love it
allison: "cry me a river - and drown in it"
allison: hehehe
me: wow
me: and she wonders why no one will ever love her
stranger: why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near?
me: i have a disease where i emit a hormone that attracts pigeons.
(via samreich)
Poor guy. This must make it difficult to go outside in Manhattan!
One dumb guy does one dumb thing
Every day, stories like this clog up digg/reddit: “Ignorant reader of the Glenn Falls Post Star decides to rip into a local congresswoman for, get this, getting pregnant.” Seriously? It’s a constant stream of stories about one unimportant blowhard doing or saying something ridiculous. Here’s a Mad Lib to demonstrate: A (public servant) (talks smack about/spits in the face...
The movies never made
Think of all the brilliant screenplays never made into a film. Then read the synopsis for this film, that did get made: From Universal Studios Home Entertainment and Rogue Pictures comes a brand-new hilarious chapter in the legendary American Pie saga, American Pie Presents: Beta House. The hijinks now move from the town of Great Falls to the University of Michigan, where the infamous Beta House...
Songs that sound Christmasy, but have nothing to...
Snow Patrol - Chocolate It sounds like there are sleigh bells in the background. And not just that, but it’s also about starting over. So that kind of jibes. Great video, come to think of it. http://youtube.com/watch?v=ot_GyvCjXng
Pigeon poop plunge wins New Yorker six million... →
Instead of sitting here at work all day, I’ll be taking the day off to repeatedly slip in piles of animal excrement, trying to find the one that will make me the most money.
Not even a mouse
Work is completely dead. There is no one in my little part of the office, which normally numbers 6 total. Just me. The people on the other side of the office are alternately blasting Tom Petty and “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green. WEAK! Update: Now they’re playing The Cranberries. I’ve travelled in a time warp and am now in 1993 again. This song came out 14 years...
All stereotypes are trueish
I just ordered Chinese food. That is all.
Here's a tip for you...
A list of people I tipped excessively because it’s Christmastime: Waitress Cab driver Comcast technician (who came to the house on Christmas!) Your mom**She’s kind of a ho. Seasonally appropriate burn!
Victory is mine?
I beat my younger cousin in Wii Tennis yesterday. She’s in the 5th grade. I didn’t try to win, but I didn’t want to lose either. I didn’t feel good about myself afterwards, but she took the loss in stride, so that was good.
Meat is murder, even in moderation
My parents had an argument today about how my dad had consumed too many animal products over the past few days. Not red meat, mind you. Turkey, chicken, cheese, etc. My dad is in good health and is not overweight. This was not because my mom is morally opposed to killing animals. (She will often murder animals for sport.*) I wonder if this happens in anyone else’s family. *this part is not...
1 tag
“Jemaine went to the Viper Room the other night, got to the door and the woman...”
– Bret McKenzie of Flight of the Conchords on how he and partner Jemaine Clement let their celebrity work for them My boss and I talked about the Conchords at the holiday party last night. New Zealand bridges gaps between generations!
A season of giving
MOKB : What’s the best gift to buy for that special someone this holiday season? Rob Huebel : Put a baby up inside of them. It’s stuff like this that makes me excited for Human Giant Season 2. (via my old kentucky blog)
WatchThey make it look easy. It’s not!
Abstinence education works!
Sixteen year old Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. The baby daddy is Jamie Lynn’s boyfriend, Casey Aldridge. She met him at church. (via tvsquad)
2, 743 anagrams for "I heart tumblr" →
My favorite is “Herbal Tit Rum”. So true!
“I don’t claim to be the expert on what is either derogatory or offensive...”
– a woman on deciding that the word “jewfro” is indeed derogatory I agree! That word is the opposite of jewgreat. People can be offended by literally anything these days.
The atheist delusion →
Here’s the money quote: “My chief objection to the new atheists is that they are almost completely ignorant of what’s going on in the world of theology. They talk about the most fundamentalist and extremist versions of faith, and they hold these up as though they’re the normative, central core of faith. And they miss so many things. They miss the moral core of Judaism and...
GOOG-411 is a lie! →
I’ve used GOOG-411 multiple times and found it to be incredibly useful and accurate. I can’t believe it’s not what it seems!
WatchNUT ‘TAPERS’! — jendunlap This was better than the “I Love New York 2” finale.
There was a line in The Farnsworth Invention yesterday that I have yet to figure out. Some background… The line was uttered in a description of David Sarnoff, who was the president of RCA/NBC. At first, Sarnoff wanted the airwaves to be free of advertising and profit primarily from the sale of radios. After the company suffered because of the Great Depression, Sarnoff was forced to put ads...
