March 2008
Things not to say to a hostess at a restaurant you...
This takes place mid-conversation.
Me: Has anyone ever asked you what time you get off? Or does that just happen in movies?
Cute hostess: No, that hasn't happened to me yet! (laughs) I think it only happens in movies.
Me: You're probably the only person it hasn't happened to here! (laughing)
Hostess: Yeah, probably! (laughs)
I realize this is the time I should've asked her what time she got off. But the kitchen took at least 20 minutes to make my food, so I took my hunger-anger out on her.
February 2008
Anyone want to go to a hummus tasting? (jewiest...
Chumus Chafla! The making of Chumus is a fine art. Experience the nuanced variations and delight in the flavor of the many unique renditions of this exceptional and highly nutritious food. Sunday, March 2nd 12 PM: Cooking Class (Limited Space Available) 1-3 PM: Demos and tastings provided by Hummus Place. There is no pre-registration for these events. The JCC in Manhattan, 334 Amsterdam Ave....
Bored Game
joshmohrer: sarahschneider: juliaheffernan: Here’s a fun game to play if you are bored: type in “[your name] needs” into google and look at the results. This was QUITE an amusing break for me today. Sarah needs a cold shower, self-esteem Sarah needs your manly vote Sarah needs to kick him in the nuts Sarah needs to reorganize her life Sarah needs a video channel Sarah needs a pink blog (oh hell...
soupsoup: hrrrthrrr: [ you be illin’….run dmc ]...
seagull: verbadjectivenoun: i feel like i’m having a mid twenties crisis. is this normal? help! I’m going through one right now. I read that book Quarterlife Crisis back a few years ago. I thought it was ridiculous. Umm, not so much anymore.
“…Fox is also developing a spin-off of the drama series “Prison Break,” set at a female prison.” (via AP) Also debuting on Fox next season: “Lady Bones” “Mrs. House M.D.” “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” This reminds me of the best fake TV show name I’ve heard of. It was in the background of a Human Giant sketch...
After facing an 8% decline in same-store sales, Victoria’s Secret CEO Sharen J. Turney acknowledged that the chain had become “too sexy.” (via washpo) In other news, Outback Steakhouse announced they were taking the Bloomin’ Onion off the menu because it was “too Australian.” This joke makes no sense.
Clay Davis and me ride the bus together, NBD
I ride an empty bus for the first leg of my trip home everyday. Tonight was no different. There are maybe two other people on the bus. So I’m sitting down and about to open a book, when one man strides down the aisle wearing a smooth looking hat. I glance up and am about to look down into the book when I freeze. That man is Clay Davis. He sits across the aisle from me. I’m not...
Pathetic
lovepuppy: In bed, eating pad thai, watching the same four episodes of SATC all over again. File under: Reasons I need a boyfriend. Or maybe you could put in Disc 2? Does that make sense to anyone but me? It probably isn’t funny, but I’m seriously loopy right now.
rach: My Brightest Diamond - Something of an End I...
Celebrity sightings!
I just saw a celeb at the T Salon, a lunch spot near my work. Eating lunch there with a friend was noted lesbian and comedian Sandra Bernhard, most famous for being a friend of Madonna’s. She was having a salad and sadly was not discussing her 31 appearances on Roseanne. More exciting though, was seeing M. Doughty in Times Square yesterday lugging around a huge suitcase with a friend....
Blind Irishman sees with the aid of son's tooth in... →
“An Irishman blinded by an explosion two years ago has had his sight restored after doctors inserted his son’s tooth in his eye, he said on Wednesday.” The surgery was performed by Dr. Guinness and assisted by Dr. Jameson. I’m not sure how else you’d get that idea.
There is not enough time left in the day for me to finish watching American Gangster. And that is a shame. Thanks a lot, earth’s rotation.
Like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer
I’m running on the treadmill at the gym tonight. Two TV’s are directly above me with no sound. I have a choice. Do I watch…: A) CNN’s story (with captions) on rising gas prices. B-roll of workers on an oil rig. Highly relevant story with implications for all of America. OR B) E! Entertainment Television’s 101 Most Starlicious Makeovers with no captions - only images....
Common - The Light (Just Blaze remix) Does Just...
“I found a pirated Russian translation of “The Alchemist”, and we were selling...”
– Paulo Coelho: Why I pirate my own books (via) (via ronen) That reminds me, I just downloaded the free copy of Beautiful Children on Amazon. It’s too bad I’m getting the book too late to read it for the tumblr book club, but I’m excited to digitally crack the digital book spine open...
New LCD Soundsystem on "21" soundtrack →
Sweet tune. I loved the book “Bringing Down the House” by Ben Mezrich. Hopefully the movie is just as entertaining.
Long and winding road
Today is the first day of Spring Training. Baseball’s season finishes at the end of October. I love my team and all, but if they made the season shorter, it would really help my sanity.
All Points West Music & Arts Festival
lfarm: Presale tickets go on sale TODAY at noon (ET) for 3-day passes to All Points West so if you are interested, here is the link… Ticketmaster and the password is 3PZHA7. I’ll be going on Saturday and maybe Sunday. One day passes go on sale this Friday at noon. I’d like to see Radiohead two nights, but I think I’ll just go Friday since I like the undercard better: Girl Talk, New...
Sunday in the Park With an Incredibly Old Person
I’m the youngest person at this Off Broadway play by 90 or so years.
But wait! I spy a young jewish dude (he has a yarmulke, so he’s serious about it). He’s accompanied by an unbelievably cute companion who doesn’t look the least bit jewy. Either they’re just friends or I need to start wearing jewish headgear.
who u e-crushin on - UPDATE w/ mine
lfarm: In regards to this post by elle belle, I’d be interested to hear who you have a tumblr e-crush on. I’m going to start thinking about who mine might be. UPDATE… Ok, I’ll do it. Ain’t no shame in this game. I have slight e-crushes on the following (in no particular order): http://themarkpike.tumblr.com/ http://ianbroyles.tumblr.com/ http://stefantueshaus.tumblr.com/...
who u e-crushin on
lfarm:In regards to this post by elle belle, I’d be interested to hear who you have a tumblr e-crush on. I’m going to start thinking about who mine might be. This makes me uncomfortable. It’s like in middle school when girls would pester you to give up the name of the girl you liked. I’m a private person. If I really like someone’s tumblr, I just email them to tell them how I...
I'll take "Places to Find Disappointed People...
All Starbucks are closing today from 5:30 to 8:30 PM for corporate retraining. If I were an enterprising coffee shop owner, I’d sit outside a nearby Starbucks during that time and pass out free sample cups of coffee. You know, coffee that actually tastes good.
I tapped my toes, ya'll →
I’m partial to anything Philly related. Maybe it’s because I was born there. Maybe it’s because I’m a huge Eagles fan. Maybe because I like city nicknames that end in -ly (like my name! yipee!). A fellow tumblrer, gotdatkevinnealon, put out a sweet ass mixtape with his buddy Apt One. They call themselves Philadelphyinz. They each did a side of the mixtape - one with old...
WatchAwesome!
Will Ferrell interviews Tom Brokaw as Ron Burgundy
Ten minutes into the conversation.
Ron Burgundy: Tom, you're one of America's most respected newsmen...
Tom Brokaw: I was ten minutes ago.
I realized after seeing Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill stand next to each other at the Oscars that if I gained 30 pounds and got glasses, I could have a shot at being one of their body doubles. Yay?
“I live in Brooklyn. (cheering from the crowd) I hate it. Everyone’s so...”
– Zach Galifianakis at the Radio City show I’m paraphrasing. He got the best reaction out of all the comics tonight, which includes Will Ferrell!
Thoughts during pre-show of Will Ferrell/Funny or...
To give you an idea of the audience’s makeup, if Will came out and asked, “Is Jersey in the building?” the answer would be a resounding, “We’d scream, ‘WOOOOOOOOO!’ but we’re too busy drinking this can of Sparks.” That said, I’m most excited to see Zach Galifinakis, who I’ve never seen live. That man can bring it. Interesting to...
I'm going with dumbass
While brushing my teeth this morning, I thought of an unsuccessful prank I tried to pull on my geology teacher. Sometimes his students would bring him rocks that they couldn’t identify and he’d tell us something about their origins. I didn’t like this guy because I blamed him for me being awful at geology. My friends did fine, but I never quite got the hang of it. Here was my big...
“They don’t understand what it’s like to go through life being hot....”
– Tiffany, a contestant on Rock of Love 2 Ugh. I TOTALLY know what she means.
They were out of Scissor Sister ones
I walk into the restaurant where my roommate is having his birthday party. His boyfriend hung up a Happy Birthday banner with Hello Kitty all over it.
Me: Why'd you get him a Hello Kitty banner?
His boyfriend: It was the gayest one I could find.
And that about sums up my evening.
WatchThis is from my company’s Wii tennis tourney. The ending is a joke that’s funny to about 3 people. Just so you know!
Dear Sharingtime,
seagull: I love your tumblr. If we ever met, I know we would be fast friends. Sincerely, Seagull Dear Seagull, Your tumblr is great too! If I’m in Austin, can we go to Stubbs? That place looks like it might be the greatest idea ever. In fact, Built to Spill is playing there March 2nd. How about you let me crash on your floor that weekend? Let’s test your theory! (email me at...
AT&T: We're Dumb
Me: How much is it to call Canada?
AT&T: $.20 a minute. Or you can pay $3.99 a month and get a special rate!
Me: Great.
AT&T: Then it would be $.19 a minute.
Me: Seriously? You want me to pay $4 to get a penny off? That sounds kind of stupid unless you know you're going to call Canada for more than 400 minutes a month.
AT&T: Yeah, we might want to re-evaluate that plan.
Things that I wouldn't think go together, but do
I ordered this from Craftbar last night on the recommendation of a gourmand and all-around gadabout: Warm Pecorino Fondue with Acacia Honey, Hazelnuts and Pepperoncini 11. Best part of the meal.