August 2008
Selling out is awesome
I just ordered my first free meal from SeamlessWeb. I can’t wait to eat all that free miso soup, appetizers, sushi and mochi ice cream for free.
This is the last time I judge celebrities for appearing in advertisements. Getting free shit for doing little work is the best gig ever.
July 2008
This could also describe the work ethic of people...
Q: What do you call a guy who makes it known he’s a player, but you’ve never seen him go home with anyone?
A: All talk, no action.
Free _______!
Have you been offered granola bars or crackers for free in Union Square recently? I haven’t bit, but my guess is that someone’s trying to convert me.
Anyone take the bait?
Get that weak shit out of here
The gentleman was arrested in a Fresno, California casino after he placed a bet with marijuana in a card game. He was arrested, even though he produced a “cannabis club” card purchased on the internet.
(via boingboing)
The man was arrested not because he bet with marijuana, but because his shit was not dank.
The problem with being a self-loathing narcissist is hating how awesome I am.
malty:
boringloser:
time bomb- old 97’s
“She’s...
Last night I did a thing I swear I wouldn’t do again, but knew I would eventually. Then I did it and feel similar to how I felt before.
Breaking the cycle would be nice.
Dr. Kush →
This New Yorker article from last week is long, but well worth the read. It’s neat to read about how “drug mule” and “pot grower” are semi-legal occupations in California.
WatchOnion Video - “Study Finds Young People Remain Apathetic About Office Politics”
Yep.
madeupmemories:
gooneruk:
Where does your Tumblr name come from?
Someone accused me of having an emo-tumblname the other night but, though it could be taken as the name of some raven-haired sad band, I actually titled my Tumblr “Made-Up Memories” because it’s a more eloquent way of saying “Lies.”
I really wanted to save it for my memoir, but this’ll work until I do something important.
...
The saddest saxophone-playing sisters in the world
In 1987, a week after his first rehearsal with the band, On A Friday played their debut gig at the now defunct Jericho Tavern in Oxford. With a musical canon resembling a youthful Talking Heads, they added two saxophone-playing sisters to fill out the line-up.
(via Muze UK’s bio)
In honor of Radiohead coming to play for me (and only me) in two weeks, here’s the oddest fact about the...
“Experience has taught me that I should have fewer experiences.”
– an expat in Chuck Thompson’s book smile when you’re lying
Full of sound and fury and LOLspeak
Commenters on the internet remind me of how debates work on cable news channels: one side is for, one side is against… and I don’t give a shit about what any of them think.
How the fuck do they do it?
I have a new appreciation for the people who serve in our nation’s armed forces.
I thought about this after running around with a paintball gun this weekend. Since getting hit with a paintball is not a pleasant experience (they can reach speeds of 190 mph), I was dreading it.
Eventually I got shot and left the playing field. With the match over, I got to relax, though I could feel the...
The rich get richer
Here’s the teaser for an article I enjoyed:
“Aviv Nevo took a modest inheritance and parlayed it into a fortune by investing in media and Internet companies.”
Ok, cool. A modest inheritance. So $250,000 - $500,000? Close!
$10 million dollars. Only in the Times does that count as modest.
Bachelor party weekend
While this weekend’s bachelor party festivities in the Poconos were not quite like the picture below, it was close. On Friday night, we grilled various meat products and avoided being shot by the oddballs next door with pellet guns, who see no problem with drinking and firing weapons at 2 AM.
Later that night, we played Wii Fit until 3 in the morning. Each guy did a series of yoga poses and...
Fat calling the kettle fatter
I will never understand fat guys who disparage overweight girls.
Hey, fat dude! If she were an asshole, 40 pounds heavier and had a dick, she’d be you.
All aboard!
“All tracks post approximately 10 minutes prior to rapture.”
For a second I thought, “When the rapture comes, the only important departure time is how soon you get to heaven, no?”
Then I realized the word “rapture” was actually “departure” and that I may be reading on a 2nd grade level.
fred-wilson:
Tears On My Pillow - Clem Snide -...
I just signed up for a sketch writing class at UCB. I haven’t taken a class there in about 6 years. I’m excited!
I bet when I walk into class, everyone will look at me like I’m the 90 year old man who enrolled at the local university to prove to himself that he can still kick it with the young whippersnappers.
Actually, the truth is pretty close to that.
Lee's Poetry Corner
Excuses
Birth control is important;
it’s fun to have safe sex.
But if it’s not good,
it ain’t my fault,
it’s all that fucking latex.
The things we'll do for money
Here’s what I love about SeamlessWeb: you don’t have to talk to people when you order food. I’m so lazy that this is a benefit. No repeating your order and there’s less of a chance they screw it up!
I order Chickpea from them all the time. Thank you for enabling my lazy habits, seamless.
Ben Folds in Philly
Ben Folds is playing the Mann Center in Philly on September 6th with a goddamn orchestra. This sounds right up my alley. Somehow there are still tickets available.
Anyone want to roadtrip/Amtrak to Philly? More info here. Email me at itssharingtime at gmail.
Advertisement spotted at lunch today
“Real Blubbery Muffins!”
WET HOT AMERICAN PREQUEL? →
katieschenk:
ardenashley:
bg5000:
Since David Wain is the one talking about it, it’s hard to know what to believe. Still, more Gene would be amazing. Fingers crossed.
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Oh please. This is exactly what I need in life.
Here’s the Q&A from last night: http://youtube.com/watch?v=ytmHtLyYI1A
AT&T has really bad coverage. The service is so bad that no one ever calls me and I have no friends.
Thanks a lot, AT&T. Jerks.
...at the old ballgame!
I’m going to a Phillies game on my company’s dime. I love the Phillies. I’ll be 14 rows up from the dugout in Philadelphia in a few weeks cheering my team on.
This is not bragging. This is a post to remind myself that most jobs in the world are for little pay with no perks. Just because I’m surrounded by people who make more money than me, have nicer apartments and drive...
Cloud Cult - Journey of the Featherless
This song...
Fuck around they weak staff, get a heat rash...
Remember that allergic reaction on my neck? As it happens, my dermatologist thinks it was just a heat rash.
My allergist has no fucking clue what it is and admits as much, but enjoys when I visit and give him a co-pay.
It's all your fault, pizza man.
Me (pointing at mushroom slice): I'll take the slice with tomato.
Pizza Guy (pointing at tomato slice): This one?
Me (pointing at mushroom slice): Nooooo... the one with tomato.
Pizza Guy (pointing at tomato slice): This one!
Me (pointing at mushroom slice and becoming more frustrated): I said this one! Here! Tomato!
Pizza Guy (pointing at a different slice): This one?
Me (wondering if this guy speaks English until slowly realizing I was calling the mushroom slice a tomato slice all along, muttering to myself): Fuck.
Wait for it...
If you just texted me the extremely vague phrase “not yet”, I don’t know who you are or what you’re referring to.
Please text me again so that we can discuss what exactly won’t be happening yet. I’d love to know!
Richard Price's Lush Life
Walking around last night on the Lower East Side, I saw a makeshift memorial on the sidewalk next to a bodega. Normally I’d walk by and not give it a second look. After reading this novel that takes place on those same streets, it was impossible not to think about it again. My nightmares last night confirmed this.
I cried about 10 pages from the end and I cried when it was done. It’s...
Cheap (virtual) jew!
Here’s how I know I’m Jewish: when I play Grand Theft Auto 4, I’m stingy when it comes to spending money in the game.
“This suit is $1,000! A thousand dollars! I only have $17,000! I’ll get it, but only because this stupid mission requires it.”
Keep in mind this is video game money.* Ouch.
*I wish I were more like my video game self when it comes to money,...
Let me romantical you with my words
Baby, you’re the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the morning and the last thing on my mind when I go to that massage parlor in Chinatown where they do the nasty with you.
"Basically you're just sittin' there for 30 years...
noraleah:
Novelist Richard Price on writing, in an interview with Terry Gross last March. Planning to read his new book, “Lush Life,” on the Lower East Side babylon of kids from the projects, Chinese immigrants, outer-borough cops, and MFA “laptoppers” from the Midwest.
I’m about halfway through “Lush Life” now. My only complaint is that it’s too big to put in my laptop...
“When I was five, my mother and sister sat me up on the kitchen counter and...”
– Sloane Crosley
“Also, I enjoy texting. Have you heard of it? You type stuff into your phone that...”
– S. (via saramcpherson)
WatchAdrian Chen is a celebrity chef. If you like your videos short and funny, I implore you to watch the balls out of this.
Flying fake Baltimore homicide detectives
Later that same year, he joined the acrobatic Argentinian circus De La Guarda. “I’d turned 30, it was almost the millennium, and I got this urge to try some physical theatre before it was too late,” he says. “I’d seen this show, which was a blend of acrobatics and dancing that had started in the clubs of Buenos Aires, and I just loved it. I approached them and they...