August 2008
And what a sweet horse it is.
I’m taking a break from blogging for a bit. I’m hoping to spend more time writing (my sketch writing class begins in a week and a half!) long-form type things and less time thinking about funny one-liners to post.
Definitely email me if there are meetups and keep in touch! I’m sure I’ll be back on the blogging horse soon.
WatchEugene Mirman reports from the DNC. Very funny!
I’ve been on a kick of listening to female singer/songwriters lately. This is a new development for me, as I once noted years ago that I couldn’t name more than one or two bands I liked with a female lead singer.
Maybe I’ve gone soft in my old age.
When you're too busy to type "Thank you"...
…simply type “thx”! It’s the perfect way to let that special someone know you don’t care about them enough to type out eight entire characters, you lazy fuck.
Easy way to lower your Time Warner Cable bill
It takes about 15 minutes. Just call Time Warner and say, “I’m switching to Verizon FiOS for their $99 a month package (feel free to make up your own price - I did). What can you do for me?”
My bill was lowered $30 a month. Not bad! Perhaps celebrating by lighting $30 dollars on fire was ill advised, but whatever.
bg5000:
Clem Snide - “I’ll Be Your Mirror”...
I’ve done a lot of growing up over these past years.
Old Lee: Gets sad, walks around neighborhood listening to Radiohead on Walkman.
New Lee: Gets sad, walks around neighborhood listening to Radiohead on iPod.
NYT: Excerpts From the Spanish Diary by Woody... →
zachlinder:
JAN. 2
Have no idea for Barcelona unless the story of the two Hackensack Jews who start a mail-order embalming firm could be switched
JUNE 5
Shooting got off to a shaky start. Rebecca Hall, though young and in her first major role, is a bit more temperamental than I thought and had me barred from the set. I explained the director must be present to direct the film. Try as I...
WatchBig brother is watching you… in the bathroom.
I would like a way to permanently ban inspirational quotes from my dashboard without having to filter for quotes.
Marco, can you work on this please?
Any smart people want to explain this to me at the top of an email I got at work?
“Return-Path: <cyrus@mail> Received: from murder ([unix socket])”
From murder?!?!? I’m not sending out an email ever again.
File under: an email I will never open
Subject: TM Insider: How to get tickets for Billy Elliot on Broadway
This is what passes for empathy in NYC
Guy: And then we had a jumper on the trains today. That's why it took me so long to get to work.
Girl: Oh, those are the worst!
Guy: Yeah, and they HAVE to jump at peak hours.
I've given you another way to say "duh"
Does Blues Traveler have a harmonica player?
“I was thinking how easily people get stuck in places. I mean, first of all you...”
– I should read my old blog posts more often. This is from July 3rd, 2004. (via justin)
Yep. And there’s nothing you can do about it short of moving to the middle of nowhere and living off the land.
How you know it's time to get out of the office
I just got an IM asking me who had my favorite sneeze in the office.
I actually had to stop and think about it. I think I spend too much time here.
I should never schedule two back to back conference calls in a row. Or if I do, I should have myself cloned and have my clone do the second one.
Things I've Learned: Business Trip Edition
1. Short presentations are good presentations, even if your content is subpar.
2. Paid adult personal sites are filled with fake profiles. Trust me on this one. And not from personal experience either!
3. It helps to make friends with the people you do business with.
4. I should go on the road more often.
5. Watching your team win a baseball game in your home stadium with amazing seats and...
NBD
I overheard a guy at dinner slip this gem into casual conversation:
“For the past six months I’ve volunteered at a hospital once a week.”
Not to take anything away from his good deed, but six months? You know he was waiting for the right moment to tell his friend. Well done, sir!
Mmm, hairy onion rings
imkevin:
sharingtime:
“Creamy mashed potatoes, breaded onion ring, sauteed garlic greens.”
I read that initially as bearded onion ring and was not that disgusted.
Anyone feel like photoshopping?
Bearded Onion Rings:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3274/2775484970_db92f0f4d1.jpg
Thank you! This is even better than what I imagined.
Mmm, hairy onion rings
“Creamy mashed potatoes, breaded onion ring, sauteed garlic greens.”
I read that initially as bearded onion ring and was not that disgusted.
Anyone feel like photoshopping?
Worst man speech
I gave my family a test-run of a best man speech I’ll be giving in two weeks. There were so many critiques in the first two minutes that I didn’t get through the whole thing. I stopped out of frustration.
Some changes will be made. Now I am now officially nervous.
Sneaky!
Avoiding the dollar sign on menus leads to higher sales, according to research. Menus that listed numerical prices without the “$” symbol yielded an average of $5.55 more in spending.
(via Edmonton Journal)
I wondered why Chipotle dropped the dollar signs from their menu!
Wilco melted my face off
ohmaria:
Oh Lee…
Why look up the set list, when you can have a copy of your own?
Haha, it was good to finally meet you - since it seems like you’re a much bigger Wilco fan than I am, I’ll tell you what: it’s yours.
Seriously, I got a guitar pick so I’m more than happy to share the wealth :-)
sharingtime:
I can’t believe how close I was (about the fifth row, dead center). I also can’t...
A white trash looking dude stood at my bus stop wearing a t-shirt that read:
AMERICA IS FULL
Of what, I wondered? Ah yes. America IS full…. of assholes like him.
I think “To Catch a Predator” would be a better show if Chris Hansen tried to entrap lions.
Been done been done been done
I want a time machine that only takes me back two seconds two seconds two seconds two seconds
Wilco melted my face off
I can’t believe how close I was (about the fifth row, dead center). I also can’t believe I forgot my camera.
Either way (get it?!), this was easily one of my top concert experiences of all time. They played every song I wanted to hear. From the end of the first set to the last song of the second encore, they just ripped through the songs.
Can’t wait till they come back.
Set...
Woody Allen interviewed by AV Club →
“There are so many traps you can get into, and looking back on your own work is certainly one of them.”
They saw the sign and then ran away quickly
It’s been a while since I’ve tried to pick up girls in bars. Apaprently the line, “I’m in Ace of Base” doesn’t work like it once used to.
I am seeing Wilco play in a few hours. Today feels like if Christmas and Channukah had a baby and then turned it into a concert!
The best part of having dinner and drinks with a degenerate gambler is leaving dinner going, “Well, at least I’m not that bad.”
Every good deed gets a cash reward
I found a cell phone in a cab this morning. It was an old Samsung flip-phone with a peace sign key chain on it.
I flipped it open and saw the wallpaper was of flowers. “I will be this young lady’s hero,” I thought.
Looking through the address book, I called the number listed under Mom.
“This number has been disconnected.” Uh oh.
I called “My Brother.”...
Wake up! Now go to sleep!
I would like to sex up a pot of coffee right now. Figuratively, of course.
My problem with caffeine is that I need it most in the afternoon, from 3 PM on, but I know that if I drink it I’ll have a harder time falling asleep at night.
I need to start drinking this stuff again.
