October 2010
Oh, local media! You so crazy!
I swear to you I just read this in an actual article from the paper.
“Police are investigating two threats, including one targeting Latinos, found scrawled on bathroom walls at Boulder High School on Monday morning.”
I half expected it to end with, “Police are also said to be investigating whether or not Jill can be called for a good time.”
No?
You ever turn on your TV in the morning and it’s been left on Cartoon Network and you think to yourself, “Did I get high last night?”
“The terrible thing about existence is not that there’s suffering, but that...”
– a Haitian eye doctor, from a This American Life episode from this May
I was taking a lovely fall walk on a brisk, overcast morning here and was listening to that podcast and as I arrived to my destination, I heard that line. And it made me almost crumple into a tiny ball in front of the post...
And the creepiest sign advertising a business I've...
…”Free Smells.”
And it’s not even a restaurant.
Ok, it is.
BUT WHAT IF IT WASN’T!
It is though.
The National's setlist from last night...
Ugh, yes.
A great song.
So glad you played this one.
Yep, this show was worth the drive.
Don’t even care that some loud people just stood next to me and tried to talk over the music.
Your mind’s not right! My mind isn’t right either! We have so much in common.
I can’t believe they travel w/ a horn section! They’re killing it on this one.
Hey, this is a song I...
There's a slow, dumb show in my pants
It’s cold and miserable outside and The National are in town to sing songs that make me feel cold and miserable on the inside.
Tonight’s gonna be fun!
“Whenever I think, ‘Oh my God, that’s so embarrassing, that’s so awful, no one...”
– Russell Brand
You know, I was kind of disappointed with his first book, but then I read quotes like that and it makes me want to read his second one.
Also, he’s not wrong. (via Vulture)
I hope they play that one with the nonsensical...
The odds are that tonight at this Phish show, 6,499 people around me will be smoking Colorado’s finest medicinals. Let’s hope my lungs are up for the task.
Also, there will be music. And a light show. And much dancing in the way white people do.
1 tag
Hand Obscures Televised Sporting Event
(That’s an Onionesque headline I came up with in honor of all the football I’m watching today.)
1 tag
Whereby I make things easier for everyone
Whenever I hear that doctors diagnose someone with a horrible disease every x number of minutes, I think it’d be more efficient if they just got those people in a room and told them all at the same time.
1 tag
Giving to charity is important
I’ve been in Vegas for about 24 hours and I’m only down $60 at the blackjack tables. I’ve requested to the casinos that they donate my $60 to a charitable organization of my choice.
The casinos told me they are not fooled by my hand-drawn Make a Wish t-shirt and “donation center,” which looks very similar to my wallet.
Las Vegas Weekend Pt. 1
I just landed in Las Vegas. I haven’t been arrested yet, but that’s because, at the moment, no one has noticed I wagered my balls.
(They’re flat, circular and I’ve painted them to look like chips.)
Ok, I’ve been arrested.
(I also lost the hand.)