I sat on the plane next to a mom in her 30s with two babies and no dad to help out. And they were babies: one was probably a month old, and the other looked to be about a year.
The inevitable happened about halfway through the flight, when she got up to take one of them to the bathroom. The other baby just stayed in its baby carriage in the window seat. I sat in the aisle seat.
I wondered what would happen if the baby decided to go apeshit while she was in the bathroom. The entire plane would turn towards me, the only person in the aisle. I look to be a man who is old enough to have a child. They would certainly look to me to do something about the crying baby.
And I thought, how would I react to such a situation?
Well, I figured it out. I’d simply ask the baby to be quiet.
I’d say, “Hey baby, any chance you could keep it down? Us adults on the plane are tired and cranky too, but you don’t see us screaming like a crazy person. And we don’t even have a cool pacifier like you. We just have bloody marys and 24 channels of DirecTV. We’re all in this together, baby. So let’s keep it down. Let’s keep it down and let’s keep it together until your mom gets back.”