Sharing Time!

This, my friends, is my drank for the summer. It’s organic yerba maté latte mix with rice/soy/actual milk, available at your local overpriced supermarket or co-op. Look for it in the carton shaped box, similar to how fancy soups are packaged.

It gives you a natural energy boost without all the nasty side effects of caffeine AND it’s cheaper than cocaine. I’m hooked.

I am woman, hear me.

“Tennis great Chris Evert has joined the chorus of complaints about the noise level in women’s tennis, saying the ‘grunting’ was getting out of hand.”

(via ESPN)

If they take the grunting out of women’s tennis, that means I’ll have to go back to spying on women lifting pallets of tomato sauce jars at the Costco.

This documentary was super funny. Not in a good way. When profits trump environmental concerns in such a blatant manner, you can do nothing but laugh. What’s particularly funny about this was watching GM turn down potential profits and deny themselves a successful product.

It also pours a lot of cold water on fuel cells. Ugh. On the upside, if you have a Prius, did you know you can modify it to get up to 75 mpg?!

I give this three out of four plug-in cars.

Every single post you've made

Every post by a lady on tumblr

I have:

• a vagina
• a crush on a boy (underlying tone: love is grand and whimsical!)
• a boyfriend I love (underlying tone: love is cool on the whole, I guess)
• a husband I love (underlying tone: love fades)
• a picture of Chris Pine
• an ability to flip out over nothing
• a pretty dress
• a picture of something twee you should look at
• nothing against posting pictures of myself all the time, seriously, look at this picture of me

Every post by a dude on tumblr

I have:

• a boner
• a boner for Apple products
• alcoholism
• something to say that someone else said better than me so I’m going to quote them instead of finding my own way to say it
• a picture of Megan Fox
• a thing for bulleted lists

E. Coli Causes Beef Recall →

thephenthouse:

380,000 pounds possibly contaminated.

Pish posh. This one time I went to Whole Foods and unknowingly bought seitan that had already expired. Then I went home and pan fried it with wild mushrooms. I felt ok afterwards.

But seriously, can you believe it? Expired.

I'm not proud of this, but I'm ok with it

I’m ok with the fact that it’s 4 PM on a beautifully sunny day and while everyone’s outside, I’m in my apartment reading a book about the art of being persuasive with the air conditioner on while listening to that song from 1996 on the Party Of Five soundtrack called “Closer To Free.”

We should've refused to play the second half.

Did we all just take the same drug that convinces us the US is beating Brazil in a soccer game?

It’s all so confusing.

You know the look on people’s faces in movies when they open up a locked briefcase with a ton of money inside? That’s how I looked when I opened my first Papa John’s pizza in 7 years and saw the garlic sauce.

I don't understand how it could've ended so badly

So I finally broke up with my girlfriend. It wasn’t a nasty break-up per se, but it wasn’t pretty either.

I started off by telling her that I loved her. She kindly asked me to take the gun out of her mouth. I told her that I never wanted to be with anyone else. She asked me to take the gun out of her mouth by pointing to the gun and making the international symbol for “take this white hot steel out of my mouth, it burns.” I told her that even though I knew she was hanging out with another guy for months before and had feelings for him that I wanted to work on making things better. I wanted to try.

She pulled the trigger.

(This is a work of fiction, as if this were real, I would probably be an accessory to murder.)