Sharing Time!

That's why I once married a woman in Belize

“After going AWOL for seven days, Gov. Mark Sanford admitted Wednesday that he’d secretly flown to Argentina to visit a woman with whom he’d been having an affair.”

(via AP)

The governor said the affair was initially just an excuse to say “Arrrr-hen-teeeeena” a lot. Asked why, he replied, “because it is the most fun word to say with an accent.”

White Rabbits - Percussion Gun

Sometimes this song gets stuck in my head for a few days. Then it leaves and comes back. I don’t mind.

They’re playing Denver on Friday night. Anyone want to go? I’m at itssharingtime (at) gmail.

Sharingtime's Mailbag

Dear sharingtime,

Why do some women insist on using the phrase “my man” to describe their significant other?

Sincerely,

Confused In Texas

Dear Confused In Texas,

Because “that dude I smother” isn’t as catchy.

Sincerely,

sharingtime

Suggested new names for Jon & Kate Plus 8

Now that they’re divorcing, the show needs a new title. Here are my suggestions:

• Jon & Wine Plus 9 (when it’s Jon’s turn to take care of the kids, he swigs from a bottle of a ‘82 Bordeaux; it becomes so ubiquitous the youngest children consider it a sibling)
• Weight & Kate Plus 8 (Kate struggles with eight different eating disorders and children, pushing her sanity to the limit)
• Jon & Fate Plus 8 (Jon plays Russian Roulette while the kids watch a Spongebob marathon)
• Procreate & Kate Plus 48 (Kate has 40 more children, her vagina falls off and retires to Boca)

What I tell my friends about the album I just bought: I bought this album called Hoopenstachen by a band called Flugenhargen from Greenland. They sound like Sigur Ros, but they’re way more ethereal. They’re on a tiny label called Moofensluupen out of Fligenhaaper. They release all their albums on 7” vinyl that can only be heard on a $5,000 record player made specifically for the record in Germany. It’s my favorite album of 2009 so far.

What I actually just bought: Lady Gaga’s new album Regina Spektor’s new album

In the future, a pre-war apartment will refer to an apartment built before the war between humans and Decepticons.

I would've been better off typing Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I just tried to type “awwwwww” but my fingers found the keys next to it on the keyboard and instead I typed “seeeeeee.”

It was a little awkward because this was the IM conversation:

Friend: I’m pregnant!!!!!!!

Me: Seeeeeeeeee

Friend: See what? You can tell I’m pregnant or something? Or are you taunting me? Like “see, I told you so? Sex makes you pregnant.” I mean, I know that. What is it Lee? You’re a dick.

Me: Awwwwwwww

Friend: You’re crying again, aren’t you? I’M THE PREGNANT ONE.

joewengert:

Here is a video I wrote for UCBComedy and made with Harrison Brown out here in LA. One of the real Pizza Hut pizzas I bought had a hair on it! Way to go, Pizza Hut!

I wonder if evangelical virgins at a Purity Ball have ever danced ironically to "Let's Get It On."

I saw Burn After Reading last night. I liked it! The performances were solid, the script was funny. The Times review mentioned it had no heart. I’d agree, but I don’t think it suffered for it. Also, if Brad Pitt wanted to only act in comedies for the rest of his life, I’d be ok with that.

One thing I noticed is that they filmed scenes at the Blue Water Grill in Union Square (how is it possible they get their seafood to taste so delicious?) and at the movie theater on 23rd and 8th, but it was supposed to take place in DC.

I was a little proud of myself for noticing the locations, but ashamed at just how proud.