On flirting with a barista
How to flirt with a barista:
“I’d like a tea, please,” you’ll say.
“In a pint glass or in a teacup?” she’ll ask.
“In a teacup,” you’ll say. “I’m a refined gentleman, after all.”
She will laugh.
“Make sure to stick your pinky out,” she’ll say.
FLIRT SUCCESSFUL
How not to flirt with a barista:
“I’d like a tea, please,” you’ll say.
“In a pint glass or in a teacup?” she’ll ask.
“I am numb to the world. Just pour the hot tea directly onto my skin. I want to feel something.”
“Excuse me?”
“I hate myself,” you’d say.
“So a pint glass or a teacup?”
“Whichever one I can break over my face and then use the shards to cut my wrists with.”
“Here’s a teacup, sir. Hope you feel better.”
“What’re you doing later tonight?”
UNSUCCESSFUL FLIRT
