Calling in a complaint
I purchased a 5ou bag of Hickory BBQ potato chips from the supermarket today. When I opened the bag, there was no seasoning on the chips. I called to complain.
Customer Service Lady: Hello, how can I help you?
Me: Yes. My chips were not seasoned.
CSL: What kind of chips did you purchase?
Me: Purchase? I stole them shits.
CSL: Then how can you complain about it?
Me: Because this is America, BITCH. I AM THE 53%!!!!!!
CSL: Sir, is this some sort of joke?
Me: This is no joke. Your hickory BBQ is no joke. I just wish there were some on the chips so I didn't have to eat some sort of unflavored potato with my sandwich. If I wanted a plain potato, I'd move to Ireland, you know?
CSL: No. I have to go, sir.
Me: Cool. It was just nice to talk to someone.
CSL: Sir, if you call again, I'm going to have to call the cops.
Me: This is how most of my conversations end.
