My thoughts while riding on a Denver public bus
“Empty bus! Yes! I’m going to be all alone for this entire ride and it will be a gloriously unsmelly ride. I will wave to children out the window, and they will wave back like I am royalty. This bus will be my loyal steed, and I will ride it like the king I am!”
(30 seconds later, after the bus makes its first stop)
“Why, that young man appears to be afflicted with some sort of disease. Aaaaaaaand he’s sitting next to me. Nay, rubbing up against me. It’s ok, it can’t get worse. My stop is in a minute.”
(30 seconds later, after the second stop)
“Something smells horrible. Well, this can’t get any worse.”
(30 seconds later, after the third stop)
“This is the worst smell I’ve ever smelled in the history of my nose. How could it possibly get worse?”
(30 seconds later, after the fourth stop)
“My stop! Yes! I was right! It didn’t get worse! Wait, never mind. Now I have to be in Denver.”
