How I envision my parallel life as a famous, beloved musician
“Lee, when did you get to be so sexy? Have you always been this way?”
It was my fiftieth interview that day, and I was tired.
“I don’t know, Connie,” I said. “I guess it comes naturally.”
Connie Chung had come out of retirement to interview me. Apparently it was a big deal or something?
“Lee, what do you want to say to all your fans?” she asked. She was smiling way too much at me. Wasn’t professional. I felt bad for her husband Maury.
“Just that I hope they buy my Christmas album. I feel like it’s my best work,” I said.
“Cool,” she said. “Wanna get out of here?”
“Umm, not really,” I said.
“Cool,” she said again, but in a way that you could tell it was so not cool. “I’ll miss you.”
“See you later, babe,” I said, as I adjusted my Ray-Bans and walked into the Hollywood night.
