Chattin' with grandma
Me: Hey grandma.
Grandma: Hi honey.
Me: How're you?
Grandma: I'm good. I'm going to die soon, you know. When're you going to give me great grandchildren? You're not one of those homos, are you?
Me: Nope, I'm not.
Grandma: Then get out there and get married already! Start a family!
Me: Women find the sight of my naked body unappealing.
Grandma: I'll tell you what I did. I cut a hole in my diaphragm.
Me: Gross!
Grandma: Gross? It's why you're alive today, my boy.
Me: Still gross!
Grandma: So cut a hole in your diaphragm and you can have a kid too!
Me: Do you think I'm a woman?
Grandma: Ya must be. Ya don't have muscles.
Me: I have a beard.
Grandma laughs uncontrollably.
Grandma: If that's a beard, then I voted for Harry Truman!
Me: Did you?
Grandma: I don't know, I can't remember.
