This is your future!
October 23, 2012
WASHINGTON, DC (Sharingtime Press) - After unanimously passing the PROTECT-IP and Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) bills into law, media conglomerates led by News Corp and Universal moved immediately to shut down social networks like Tumblr and Facebook, which doesn’t make any sense because that’s how they advertise their shitty products to the shitty public. They would never do that in a million years. Sites like Tumblr and YouTube opposed the law because in order to operate as a legitimate business, they now have to hire a million people to make sure protected copywritten content gets taken down nearly non-stop. Why? Because their idiotic userbase finds it’s so much easier to post a GIF from a movie than actually having a thought on their own, God forbid.
Reports from eyewitnesses state that people who used to spend eight hours a day looking at pictures of cats and Ryan Gosling are now flooding the streets looking for actual cats to look at and the real, human form of Ryan Gosling. There is no sign of Gosling, as he is known to have fled Earth in a space ship to avoid being torn apart by a roving, under-sexed mob of twentysomethings.
