If Bon Iver had gone into the woods to record a comedy album instead of For Emma, Forever Ago
Emma? More like Phlegma, right? Right guys? Woodland creatures? Anyone? I’m talking to myself again. I’m afraid of creatures. I’ve got creature fear, you could say. That’s not funny. Be funny, Justin. BE FUNNY.
So bears. There are a lot of bears out here. They can pick up the scent of food really well. I smell horrible. I haven’t bathed in a while. I miss her scent. Scent of a Woman was a funny movie. Remember how Al Pacino sounded in it? Ugh. I can’t do impressions.
There’s a wolf! It’s like the wolf came out for Act I of a hilarious play I’m doing. It just killed a bird! Holy shit. I wonder what Act II will be. I’m not sure I should still be trying to make a comedy album.
I told you to be patient. I told you to be fine. I told you to be balanced. I told you to be kind. What are… things my overbearing mother told me growing up? Right guys? Wolves? Bears? Anyone? I need to get out of the fucking woods.
