Maybe try ADT instead?
SCENE: On my couch. Night. Comfortably entwined with her.
Her: This is nice.
Me: Yep.
Her: I feel safe in your arms.
Me: It's a false security. My arms can't protect you from the cold hand of death.
Her: I think I'm going to go home.
Me: You should stay.
Her: Why? Isn't death going to get me anyways? What's the point?
Me: Your midsection is more comfortable than a pillow.
Her: Yeah, I'm leaving.
Me: Can you take the trash on your way out?
