I’m glad dudes send me emails with that pompous “Sent from my iPad” signature at the bottom, because it lets me know that they enjoy sending correspondence sans pants from their bed while their girlfriends lay next to them and pretend to read a Margaret Atwood novel, though she’s really just wondering if she’s remembering right that the last time they had sex was over New Years, and when is he going to tire of looking things up on Wikipedia on that thing, it’s just a smaller version of a goddamn laptop for the sake of Christ.
Sent from my iPad
