October 26, 2009 at 12:46pm
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How to ask a girl on a date and get to eat lots of crab cakes
- On Sunday night text her, “would you like to go to dinner thursday night?”
- Wait five minutes.
- When she does not respond within five minutes, assume your text did not go through. Text her the same message once every five minutes for the next hour to make sure she gets it.
- Wait 12 hours.
- When she does not respond within 12 hours, change your approach. Text her, “everybody’s gotta eat! dinner on thursday? if it goes well, let’s have a monogamous, exclusive relationship!” Girls love monogamous relationships.
- Wait five minutes.
- When she does not respond within five minutes, assume that she wants to keep it casual. Text her, “let’s meet for lunch and then practice monogamy for the rest of our lives together!”
- Wait 12 hours.
- When she does not respond within 12 hours (the previous twelve hours and ten minutes don’t count because I see the glass half-full) text her, “don’t be afraid of love. let’s go to breakfast and later eat some crab cakes and perhaps after that make monogamous love on your sofa-bed.”
- When she texts back, “leave me alone” don’t take it personally. Maybe she doesn’t like crab cakes. And now you don’t have to share them.
