Crimes Of The Mind
Imaginary Person: Hey Lee, what're you going to do tonight?
Me: Get extraordinarily high and try to find a live stream of the Phish show from Indio.
Imaginary Person: That sounds really pathetic.
Me: Yeah? Well, well, well, I just got this sweet organic mint dark chocolate bar that's gonna be tasty. So I'm going to eat that!
Imaginary Person: That's not really helping convince me that you're going to have an awesome night.
Me: It's gonna be great. Believe it.
Imaginary Person: I'm glad I'm not you.
Me: You're imaginary. I don't see anyone else talking to me.
Imaginary Person: I need a new job.
Me: You're not getting paid for this.
Imaginary Person: I wish I was never born.
Me: You weren't born. You're imaginary.
Imaginary Person: Life is tough for me.
Me: What life? YOU ARE NOT REAL.
Imaginary Person: You're pathetic.
Me: At least I'm not you.
Imaginary Person: But you just said I'm not real! How can you be someone not real? HA! Now who's the fool? NOW WHO IS THE FOOL?
Me: *sobs quietly in the corner and cradles chocolate bar*
