Got beat up in a small town
I want to write an action film where the villain is John Cougar Mellencamp. In the final scene, our hero finds himself battling with Mr. Cougar Mellencamp. The Coug is lying on the ground bleeding everywhere and as he’s about to be vanquished, he spits out something mean like, “You can’t defeat me, Lee [I’ve named the hero after myself]. Mellen C always prevails!”
In response, I raise an acoustic guitar over my head and just as I’m about to slam it over Campy C’s head, I go, “Here’s a little ditty about Jack and Diane, you piece of shit.”
After I’ve defeated him, I’ll perform in his place at Farm Aid to the roar of an appreciative crowd.
