My internal monologue writes a letter
To the man next to me at the urinal,
You’re not so busy you can’t wait a minute and talk on your precious cell phone once you exit the bathroom. No one is that busy.
Since your two hands are in use right now (one to hold your phone and the other to hold your brain), may you one day grow a third arm and use it to punch yourself in the balls.
Sincerely,
The guy next to you at the urinal
