Buying Girl Scout cookies

SCENE: Outside a supermarket.
Girl Scout: Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?
Me: No thank you, young lady. I prefer not to eat foods that have partially-hydrogenated oils in them.
Girl Scout: Stress is what's going to kill you, not oils in a cookie you eat every once in a while. Look at yourself. You haven't showered in two days, your beard threatens to dwarf your entire face, and you haven't worked out in, what, like 3 weeks?
Me: I went snowboarding this week.
Girl Scout: Bullshit.
Girl Scout's Mom: Bella, watch your language!
Girl Scout: I'm almost done closing this sale, mom! I have to speak to him like this because he's incapable of understanding a thought unless there's a curse word in there somewhere.
Me: I did go snowboarding!
Girl Scout: Sure you did, chubby.
Me: I'll take 30 boxes of Thin Mints.
Girl Scout: Make it 40 and I'll tell you everything's going to be alright.
Me: It won't. Why even say it?
Girl Scout: It'll feel good to hear.
Me: Say it twice and I'll buy 50.
Girl Scout: Sold.
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