| SCENE: |
Outside a supermarket.
|
| Girl Scout: |
Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?
|
| Me: |
No thank you, young lady. I prefer not to eat foods that have partially-hydrogenated oils in them.
|
| Girl Scout: |
Stress is what's going to kill you, not oils in a cookie you eat every once in a while. Look at yourself. You haven't showered in two days, your beard threatens to dwarf your entire face, and you haven't worked out in, what, like 3 weeks?
|
| Me: |
I went snowboarding this week.
|
| Girl Scout: |
Bullshit.
|
| Girl Scout's Mom: |
Bella, watch your language!
|
| Girl Scout: |
I'm almost done closing this sale, mom! I have to speak to him like this because he's incapable of understanding a thought unless there's a curse word in there somewhere.
|
| Me: |
I did go snowboarding!
|
| Girl Scout: |
Sure you did, chubby.
|
| Me: |
I'll take 30 boxes of Thin Mints.
|
| Girl Scout: |
Make it 40 and I'll tell you everything's going to be alright.
|
| Me: |
It won't. Why even say it?
|
| Girl Scout: |
It'll feel good to hear.
|
| Me: |
Say it twice and I'll buy 50.
|
| Girl Scout: |
Sold. |
