Valentine's Day 2013

SCENE: 12:01am, Valentine's Day
Me: Baby, I got you a gift.
Her: Aww, honey.
Me: Cool. I didn't have time to wrap it.
Her: I don't care about that.
I hand her a home AIDS test.
Her: What the fuck is this?
Me: You know, so you can test yourself. For AIDS.
Her: This isn't funny. Are you trying to be funny?
Me: I'm trying to be practical. Ok, I thought you might not like something so practical, so I also got you something romantic: the Dave Matthews Band album Some Devil from 2003.
Her: I think I'd rather test positive than listen to that shit.
Me: You're not in a very loving mood right now.
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