Sharingtime makes fun of a guy
Guy makes a call on old cell phone in front of me in line.
Me: Hey, who're you calling on that thing? Natalie Imbruglia?
Guy: What?
Me: Get it? Because she's from the 90's and so is your phone!
Guy: I can't afford a new phone because I lost my job, my wife works three jobs just to pay the rent on our trailer, and we have to support our two special needs children. So excuse me if I don't have the newest phone. I spend my money on my family so we can live. Not on things.
Me: You're just jealous of my new Blackberry.
Guy: Who do you even type to on that thing?
Me: My fans.
Guy: You don't have fans.
Me: You don't know that.
Guy: I can smell the lies on you. Even though my life is difficult, you envy me. You'd give up your phone in a heartbeat to have what I have.
Me: Can't wait for iPad 2.0 to come out and fucking blow the Kindle out of the water. It's like, suck on THAT Amazon!
Guy: Do you want to come over to dinner sometime?
Me: Sorry, I don't eat food that comes out of a can.
Guy: I'm just going to start saying my address and while I'm saying it, you can type on your phone like you're typing to your fans, when in fact you're storing my address.
Me: I just had a killer idea for a post.
Guy: Ok, it's 637 Longwood Lane.
Me: People are going to love that post I just made.
Guy: 7 PM. Tonight.
Me: I'm busy tonight.
Guy: Reruns of Community on NBC do not constitute being busy.
Me: I'm just going to your house so I can check into it on foursquare and people will be like, "what's he doing on the bad side of town?"
Guy: Inviting you was probably a mistake.
