I wonder how many viewers these shows share
Number of viewers of Jersey Shore season premiere: 5.3 million viewers
Number of viewers of Mad Men season premiere: 2.9 million viewers
Number of viewers of my public access show Lee Gets Cuhrazy on the Jersey Shore with Mad Men premiere: 2 viewers (I have two DVR boxes, therefore each box counts as a viewer)
Number of times I’ve called Neilsen headquarters to demand a recount of the number of viewers of my TV show: 18 times (per hour)
Number of friends who have told me the name of my show makes me seem a little gay: 27
Number of friends I actually have: 23
Why there was a discrepancy in the number of friends I have: I don’t know, I’m tired and this joke was never funny to begin with, but I don’t really feel like getting up and doing something productive, so get off my back. Fine, I’ll make up a reason. It’s because there were four people who gained my trust and became my friend over a short period of time, but they did so only to tell me that the name of my show made me seem a tad gay. Once they expressed that opinion to me, they told me they no longer wanted to be my friend. Happy? I’m not.
