Sharingtime orders Japanese food
Me: I'll have the avocado handroll, please.
Waitress (apropos of nothing): Have you ever had a handroll?
I start to wonder where this question came from, so I decide to make her feel horrible about herself.
Me: I don't know. I did live in Japan for three years. Does that answer your question?
Waitress: Oh, I'm sorry. Where in Japan?
Me: Ha! Oh, you know. Japan. The part with the Jews.
Waitress: Jewtown. Of course.
Me: Yeah. Duh.
Waitress: There is no Jewtown. I made that up. That's incredibly racist for you to think there was such a place.
Me: It is not! There are Chinatowns all over the country!
Waitress: Yes, but there are no Jewtowns.
Me: How do you know that?
Waitress: Because I do. Having lived in Japan for six years.
Me: Yeah? Where'd you live?
Waitress: Waitressyo.
Me: You could've said Tokyo. You went with Waitressyo.
Waitress: South Waitressyo if you want to get specific.
Me: I'm incredibly attracted to you right now.
Waitress: I can't explain why, but I feel the same way.
Me: Let's get out of here.
Waitress: Sure. You've never had a hand roll before, have you?
Me: I thought I was ordering a complicated handjob.
